This just in: your breakfast may be out to kill you

Editors

The World Health Organization has recently revealed studies proving that eating processed meat is linked to colorectal cancer. Such processed meats include bacon, sausage, hotdogs, and bologna. The WHO also announced that red meats are “probably carcinogenic” to people.
Consuming 1.8 ounces, (the equivalent to three pieces of bacon) of these processed meats per day can increase one’s chances of colorectal cancer by 18%. This puts processed and smoked meats into the same category as smoking tobacco and exposure to asbestos. Considering that the chances of colorectal cancer are relatively low to begin with, the increased chance simply changes your odds of developing it from 5% to 6%. Due to this, most people won’t make significant changes to their diets to avoid these processed meats.
There are many things that are recognized as bad for our health, yet we continue to indulge in them. When coffee was evaluated in 1991 by the WHO, scientists found evidence that it may cause bladder cancer. Regardless of this fact, many people still enjoy their coffee on a regular basis. Everyone knows that ultraviolet radiation is a proven carcinogenic, yet people still lay out in the sun and go to tanning beds all the time. In 2010, research revealed that working a night shift interferes with the body’s natural circadian rhythm, and is a probable carcinogen, yet there are still 24 hour McDonald’s.
In the grand scheme of things, people don’t want to change the way that they live their lives, even if doing so helps them avoid potential risks. It is just too much of an inconvenience. Besides, people often have the mentality, “It won’t happen to me.” With a low percentage risk, it is easy to write something off as unlikely, and continue on with your normal life.
To help plan out your next Sunday breakfast, one piece of cooked bacon is about .6 ounces. So, if you’re planning on indulging in a couple pieces, you’re having a dose of about 1.8 oz. of carcinogens. The serious risk is only for when you have these three pieces of bacon on a daily basis. So, assuming you’re not eating bacon every morning on the way to school, you should be fine.
Even if you do manage to avoid getting cancer from bacon, there are tons of other carcinogens that might catch you off guard. Lately, there are endless products classified from Category 2B (“possibly carcinogenic”) to Category 1 (“carcinogenic”). If you seriously want to avoid any possible carcinogens, you should probably stay away from coffee, aloe vera, pickled vegetables, carbon black (tires and rubber), alcohol, antiperspirants, magenta dyes, and salted fish, just for starters. Let’s be real, what doesn’t cause cancer these days?
Perhaps the best approach is to simply continue living your life the way you want, unless you’ve been eating excessive amounts of bacon, sausage, and hot dogs (in which case you should try to cut down a bit).