Many New Trier students have ditched the idea of dating, replacing it with a less formal hook up relationship– a booty call.
According to one senior, a booty call is when you text a boy or girl late at night to hookup. A person may have one booty call they always text or some have numerous contacts to choose from. Many of these interactions happen after parties.
Although dating and one-time hookups are still prominent among the student body, booty calls have become increasingly popular. They are informal and less exclusive relationships that strictly revolve around hooking up with one another.
“I liked [having a booty call] because I got a fun and exciting hookup,” a senior said. “There were no strings attached.”
Initiating one is a simple task, one senior shared. “It is established when someone asks to hang out after 11:00 pm, usually with no intention of actually getting to know the person. Hooking up is usually just implied.”
This “friends with benefits” relationship greatly differs from dating or being in a thing since it’s anything but exclusive. The person that booty called you last night may hook up with your friend the next day. “It’s something you really only do when it’s late at night and you’re bored after a party,” said a senior. “It’s absolutely not exclusive.”
The lack of closure within the relationship can lead to problems and can be anything but free and easy. “Booty calls set people up to make unhealthy relationships later in life by making a person feel used which isn’t great for their self esteem. Both dating friends with benefits a person seems more unstable and emotionally detached,” senior Emma Alter said.
Many students are left broken hearted due to the miscommunication involved. One senior witnessed a couple fighting about their status, as one believed they were exclusive and the other person did not.
“I rarely see couples define their relationship,” the senior said. “People are always misunderstanding each other and that leads to a lot of messy endings. Everyone in it gets hurt.”
“Booty calls create unrealistic dating standards,” an anonymous junior said. “Students believe that it’s good to just hook up with someone and toy with their feelings. It’s become a disrespectful practice. I witness my friends being taken advantage of whenever they are in one.”
With the rise of hookup culture, a boy no longer needs to take a girl on a date in order to constantly hook up. “It’s really de-personalized the way we interact, especially in romantic relationships. Dating is supposed to be just as much emotional as it is physical,” Alter said.
In the past, teenagers would go on dates regularly with their love interest. Whether it was a one time date or it grew into something more, there was rarely a hookup without a date first. “I think booty calls have almost eliminated the concept of dating that our parents knew for the majority of their teens,” Alter said.
Supporters argue that it frees busy students from the pressures of dating someone. “Having a booty call is a good idea if you are okay with not wanting to be in a relationship,” said one senior. “It’s just nice to have someone with whom to hook up without consequences or pressure to be something more. It’s just for fun.”
“There’s nothing wrong with a booty call relationship as long as both people involved are on the same page,” junior Carolyne Newman said. “Relationships can be exhausting and booty calls are convenient and easy.”
Another senior added, “If you’re looking for just hooking up with someone with no connection, and only for pleasure, then the concept makes sense. If that’s what you want then have a booty call, but if it’s not, then you definitely should not do it nor respond to one.”
A junior shared that many people are left broken hearted by the miscommunication that can occur with having a booty call. Their feelings are hurt when their booty call hooks up with another person or simply stops responding.
A senior said that boys are generally more interested in hooking up with a girl or boy for fun, while girls are more in it for the emotional aspect.
“F***boy is the term for a guy who will only text you after 11:00 pm to hook up with no strings attached,” senior Tommy Agase said.
Another senior shared how their feelings can be hurt after being used as a booty call. Many boys and girls can gain a reputation of being easy if they constantly hook up with the people that have booty called them.
“I can name 25 people off the top of my head who have booty called me, and there’s probably some I’m forgetting,” they said. “I used to react with shock and maybe even flattery, but now I’m more [upset]. Sometimes it can be a letdown if a guy I genuinely like booty calls me, because it shows he isn’t really interested in me as a person. This happens quite often.”