One of my most vivid breakups occurred a few years ago, when a girl told me that she was ending things with me because she “wanted to have fun.”
From that moment on, my perspective on relationships has warped and changed, and as a second semester senior, I feel confident that I can say that high school relationships aren’t (always) worth it.
I’ve gone through my fair share of breakups and some of them have been relatively ugly. At the same time, I have come to understand the pros of being single and ready to mingle.
The majority of my best friends have girlfriends, and have had girlfriends, for most of high school. Friday and Saturday nights, they hang out with their significant others, making memories while at restaurants or while watching Netflix.
At the end of the day they have beautiful relationships with beautiful people, and I respect the commitment that they have shown over the past couple of years.
From all this time spent around about a dozen couples, I’ve come to ask myself, where is the fun in being tied down in high school? Why sacrifice up to four years of self-exploration and maturation to someone you may never speak to again after graduation, unless you attempt to start a long-distance, cross-college relationship that too often fails?
There are a lot of advantages to being with somebody for an extended period of time: the constant companionship, (for some couples) the guaranteed affection, and always having someone to lean on through joyful or tough times.
I have consistently maintained, however, that when we return for our big high school reunion, we will be hanging out with our high school best friends, not with our 12th grade girlfriends.
As a result of all of these things, you don’t need to be in a relationship. You don’t even have to want one. Being lonely and grasping for some semblance of the perfect, high school “love story relationship” can easily translate into a total disaster.
Because of my time spent in relationships and also on the market, I’ve come to realize something. Being single has allowed me to make the memories now, as opposed to regretting missing out on moments later. A few friends and I have bonded over being single, and we have made many, many memories meeting all of the fish in the so-called sea.
It’s not just about the hook-ups either. Everyone knows that college will make everyone feel special, no matter their status in high school.
Being single helps you form relationships with new people, and become successful in your passions. If you get dumped and you find yourself absolutely heartbroken, remember that you’re a teenager and that you have your entire dating life ahead of you.
So here’s my advice: focus on yourself in high school, and have as much fun as possible- which may or may not include dating.
If you take the time to realize what you really want, then you’ll find yourself much happier and more independent. I’m not arguing in favor of purely hook-ups as opposed to long-term relationships, because only you can decide what you want. If this means you stay in your relationship, so be it.
But don’t settle for someone who will hurt your high school experience. If you are constantly bothered by your significant other, maybe it’s time for a change.
In my experience, going with the flow is the best solution to every situation, because life will work itself out in the end. So even if you end up single and down in the dumps, aim high and keep being yourself.