“I just don’t want to do this any- more,” she said. “I think we should see other people.” “Oh, al-right. If that’s what you want. Can I ask why?” he responded.

The two continue to discuss the downfall of their relationship, and go their separate ways after a pain- fully awkward hug. Whether or not this was a breakup or the end of a “thing” is unclear, but post-split etiquette is definitely more serious after a relationship.

These days everyone is familiar with what a relationship is and how it begins, but a lot of people aren’t exactly sure what a “thing” is defined as.

“A thing is when two people are exclusively hooking up with each other and like each other, but aren’t serious enough to be dating,” senior Bella Miller said. “After people hook up about three times within a certain period of time, they’re usually considered to be in a ‘thing.’”

When New Trier students are asked about the difference between the end of a relation-ship and the end of a thing, they were able to come up with pretty big differences.

“Of course there is more emotional heal- ing needed after the end of a long term relation-ship,” an anonymous junior boy said. “There’s also the issue of dealing with all of the pictures and gifts that you have from that person. You usually don’t end up with so many reminders of the other person at the end of a thing.”

The lack of emotional “trauma” is something that a lot of
students and comforting about having a “thing” instead of a relationship.
“Yeah it sucks when someone says they don’t want to be with you any- more, but a thing is so much less damaging than a relationship,” an anonymous sophomore girl said. “One night of girl support is enough to get me over a thing, but relationships definitely take a lot more time.”

“There’s a much needed buffer period after a relationship where both people take time to heal and recover. The fact that so many people know when you’re in a relationship and when it ends makes it a lot harder to deal with,” two senior girls agreed.

The ability to be friends post-relationship is something that also varies between the two. “When I end a relationship, it takes a lot longer to become friends with my ex than it would at the end of a thing,” a senior girl said. “Obviously it varies from couple to couple, but since things are so much more casual, they’re usually easier to end and to recover from.” However, there are similarities between the end of a thing and the end of a relationship. A big similarity is the tension be- tween friend groups.

“When two people from different friend groups split up, there is a lot of animosity between those groups, even if it’s only a few friends, the tension is definitely noticeable,” a senior boy said. “There’s a lot of dirty looks exchanged in the halls, which sounds petty, but it does happens.”

“It’s definitely hard for two people to be friends immediately after a relationship and after a thing. It can happens sometimes, but usually there’s no talking and they try to avoid each other at all costs for a while,” an anonymous sophomore boy said.

While there are many differences and similarities between being in a relationship and being in a ‘thing,’ neither one is objectively better. “If you don’t want to be in a relationship, that’s cool, and if you don’t like being in a thing, that’s cool too. You do you,” senior Brendan Loftus said.