There’s nothing more mind-numbing than a conversation about the weather. Unfortunately, it happens all too frequently.

Take the “awkward teacher conversation,” for example. It’s that moment when you’re accidentally stuck walking to class with your teacher and you have nothing to talk about besides the fact that it’s snowing or storming or sunny.

Small talk is one of my biggest annoyances and I catch myself engaging in it far too often. That’s probably why I’m so reluctant to call my grandparents; first there’s the “how’s school?” spiel, then, as if the conversation couldn’t get worse, I’m almost forced to inquire about the weather or if they’ve “seen any good movies lately.”

Besides being monotonous, small talk is never interesting. No one’s learned anything from a person based on the fact that they like The Beatles (everyone likes The Beatles).

In other words, holding conversations about boring, obvious topics just to fill the silence never reveals anything about the other person. In a way, I feel like when I resort to small talk, I’m a bad conversationalist.

Think about it: when you walk away from an amazing conversation, it feels good; you somehow feel accomplished and dignified. It’s like acing a serve, only to make your opponent want to play with you again.

Great conversations are usually ones that both parties equally shared their thoughts or stories around an interesting, possibly out of the ordinary, topic. However, this only happens some of the time.

I’ve found that the people I encounter who have no inhibitions are the best at avoiding small talk. In other words, they put themselves out there and don’t over analyze every detail of what’s flying out of their mouths.

I sometimes catch myself concentrating harder on my posture, hand gestures, and the direction of my legs than the conversation. Or, even worse, I’ll have a talk with someone, be it a teacher, friend, or stranger, and immediately after think of something smarter, wittier, or cooler to say.

This social anxiety was illustrated perfectly in an article written by Lucas Kavner for the New York Times titled, “A Neurotics Guide to Small Talk.” Kavner demonstrates just how cringe worthy the common small talk topics can be.

I think the reason people resort to small talk is because they’re afraid to ask the hard hitting questions. Talking about how cold it is, while safe and neutral, lacks creativity and will probably result in a short conversation (the weather topic never lasts a passing period).

On the other hand, it’s likely that people you’re just getting to know don’t want chat about anything particularly deep or intimate. In fact, those conversations tend to be more awkward than small talk.

The key is to find a neutral territory question that will lead to a great conversation. Asking “do you have anything you’re looking forward to,” is the perfect balance between interesting and intimate without being overly nosy.

For example, if someone were to ask me that, I’d respond with, “My cousins wedding, she just got engaged.” This way the conversation can easily take many turns; my cousin, weddings, and engagements are all fair game.

Another neat trick is to ask for advice. People love feeling needed and when you put yourself in the position of wanting something, people will feel apt to respond in a positive way. The point isn’t to receive sage advice (although it can unexpectedly happen), but to jolt some mindfulness or originality into the discussion.

According to Google search results, people are more concerned with avoiding small talk than avoiding Ebola. Having a great conversation with someone you know well or not at all can be boring but doesn’t have to be. In order to be a great conversationalist, it’s important to bring interesting ideas to the table that promote thinking and engaging with those around you.