If there’s one thing I’ve noticed at New Trier, and the rest of my life, there don’t seem to be a whole lot of only children.

Many times, the assumption is that there’s a hush hush reason for why parents chose to have only one child.

I’m willing to argue that these perceptions don’t have nearly as much to do with actual reasons as we think.

Recently, I have been asking myself if society has made it socially expected to have more than one child, why would any parent just have one?

Being an only child, I could list dozens of reasons. For the 80% of Americans who have siblings, on the other hand, let’s just say the statistic speaks for itself.
Aside from this, there are many negative connotations associated with being an only child.

In my psychology class we were asked to raise our hands if we were an only child, if we only had one sibling, if we had two siblings, etc. I was the only one in my class who was an only child.

I have done this activity in different classes before, and in some of the other classes I honestly felt judged and uncomfortable. In my eyes, this is a direct result of the stereotypes associated with only children.

Apparently, only children prefer being alone which may prevent them from developing social skills. We have a hard time sharing, we’re overly sensitive and demanding, and we are misfits and loners.

Well that explains it.

Jokes aside, the list goes on and on. The amount of times people assume that I’m spoiled rotten, or that I must be socially needy is ridiculous.

During an Uber ride home, my driver was making small talk. He was an odd guy, and he kept asking my friend and me random questions that were not fitting for nonchalant Uber chit chat. Eventually, he asked me if I had any siblings. I already knew where this conversation was heading, and I by no means wanted to deal with it, so I simply replied “I don’t know.” The driver must have thought that I didn’t hear him, so he repeated his question. Again I gave him the same response.

My friend Ally was sitting next to me and she clearly thought I was being a weirdo so she nonchalantly ended it by telling the driver that I was in fact an only child.

As soon as the words came out of her mouth I knew where the conversation was heading.

He started rambling about how I must get everything I want and more, and that I must be so sick of my parents hovering over me.

It’s just unfortunate that I would rather say I don’t know how many siblings I have, than tell someone I am an only child.

Findings from Toni Falbo and her colleague Denise Pilot at the University of Texas have explored the question of whether only children are lonelier than those with siblings. Their findings suggest that solitude is not synonymous with loneliness and often strengthens character.

Does every only child end up having the same characteristics? Of course not. The environment in which the child grows up will have a big impact on their future and what kind of person they will become.

Research shows that adult behavior stems from what we experience as children. Everyone is different and is shaped by different things.

I hope I was able to correct some of the misinformation about only children without creating a new set of limitations to put them in.

The ups and downs people go through in life, as well as their overall experiences, are what mold their personalities.

Whether you have siblings or not, you are the only person who can determine where you will end up. Being an only child will only be a set-back to you if you don’t choose to see it as an advantage.