“You don’t have to agree with me. You just have to respect my opinion,” someone said, cutting off our discussion. I force a smile, realizing that we are both too stubborn to have any sort of breakthrough with the other, and we go our separate ways. But still, I just don’t get it. How could they not agree that Theodore is the superior chipmunk?

Although this is not an extreme example, I find that “You don’t have to agree with me. You just have to respect my opinion,” is used far too often to cut off a discussion, especially a political one.

There are some opinions that I cannot respect. And I do not believe that I have any obligation to.

While you might already disagree, or think that you are a perfectly well-balanced human being who always respects the opinions of others, I urge you to wrack your brain for an opinion you know you do not respect.

You might feel incredibly strongly that Alvin is the highlight of The Chipmunks franchise, or it might be a more serious, political one. Up to you.

From my perspective, I believe that any opinion that disrespects me, my body, or the existence of others is by no means an opinion that merits my respect.

Let’s start big picture. I’m hoping that you will get behind me when I say that we should not respect racist opinions.

For the group of you out there shaking your heads, riddle me this: would you respect someone’s opinion that “black people aren’t people?”

There are plenty of other beliefs, such as ones that are anti-semitic or homophobic, that feel relatively black and white. If an opinion discredits the existence of another person, respect should not be granted.

However, there are other opinions that I often have to grapple with, and that are less clear cut, such as abortion.

If a woman were to feel that abortion was wrong, I could understand and respect her arguments. But when those opinions attempt to take away the control that I have over my own body, I no longer feel obligated to respect them.

Being pro-life can be different than personally being against abortion, which is where the black and white can turn to a gray area.

I want to emphasize that this is not an excuse to turn civil political discussions sour, or even an excuse to not participate at all. Although productive conversations can be harder if this level of respect is not there, this is the case with polarizing viewpoints.

Productive conversations are always difficult. But they are not impossible.

Have I, a girl who has worn a light-up Menorah sweater to school, had a civil conversation with an anti-semite? More than once. It doesn’t get more polarized than that.

It is also important to note that not respecting someone’s opinion is different than not respecting that person. I am not giving permission to be rude to those with whom you disagree.

I’m aware that many people disagree with this. How could there be any peace in the world if it was made up of Mia Sherins who just go around devaluing the opinions of others?

But then again, I could imagine a pretty peaceful world if it lost all racist, sexist, homophobic, and xenophobic opinions. I devalue your opinion when it devalues someone’s existence.

In my mind, it has always been clear that some opinions are better. Or some opinions are smarter. Or some opinions are kinder.

And some deserve my utmost respect. But those that don’t, those that are selfish, or uneducated, or do not stand for equality, those are not opinions that I can agree with. And if it wasn’t clear, I don’t respect them either.