I hate the beginning of the school year for many reasons, one of them being that I now have to take naps on the floor of the library instead of my bed.  Mostly, I can’t stand the name games. I usually panic and convince myself that I’m not going to be able to pronounce or remember my name. Or, I’m stuck in the awkward situation where no one in the class can remember who I am and I have to smile and say it’s fine when really I want to stand up and shout, “I HAD FOUR CLASSES WITH YOU LAST YEAR.” I especially hate the name game where I have to say my name and something important or exciting you did over the summer. I do not do exciting or important things over the summer. I sleep and I try to get out of the house for at least one hour each day.

Apparently, the rest of the students at New Trier don’t feel the same way. In every one of my classes there was at least one kid who had gone overseas to feed people graham crackers or save baby giraffes from frostbite. All I did was go to Iowa, which for some reason doesn’t impress people as much as going to the Artic does.  And it should. Iowa is awesome. Iowa is like here, but over there.

I would love to go on a mission trip, but I don’t know if I would be very successful. I wouldn’t be able to go to any country that speaks another language. I can barely speak English, let alone Spanish or Finnish. And I’m not very good at helping people. My go-to response in emotional situations is to make sexual jokes or snide comments, which really does not help anything. Also, I am very weak. Like, unnaturally so. I cannot do a pull up. I cannot do a push up. I can barely pick up my backpack. In no way would I be able to build a house or a school or a canoe.

But other New Trier students seem to get over their fear of other languages, awkwardness in emotional situations and extreme weakness (if they even have any). I don’t know if that makes them extremely good people or me an unusually bad one.

I can’t decide if everyone is going on these mission trips out of the goodness of their hearts, or because they want to put it on their college resume. I tell people that when I volunteer I’m not even thinking about college. That is a lie. Everything I have ever done in the last four years has been done because I want to go to college. The only reason this article is being written is because I want to fluff up my application. Just kidding.

Sort of.

Anyway, I would be willing to bet that the majority of people that go on mission trips are doing it at least partially because of their resumes. Not that it makes them bad people. They are doing much more than I am to help people. Literally the only thing I’ve done to help people in the last four years is join Relay for Life and my only contribution to that group has been unhelpful criticism and suggestions that we dye various body parts purple.

It doesn’t matter if your reason for helping people is selfish. Whether you’re going to New Zealand to save unicorns because you have saint-like qualities or because you need an idea for your Common App essay, you’re going out of your way to help someone, which is something very few people do in their lifetime. Including myself.