Our high school has its own atmosphere. And while easily apparent to newcomers, the effects of New Trier are often lost on its own students.
It took a trip to Northwestern University (NU) for me to realize this.
Over the weekend, I visited a few of my friends who recently moved into their NU dorms. As I walked into Chapin, one of the university’s many residential colleges, I was immediately struck with the welcoming feel of the place.
Seven people introduced themselves as I entered the building. I mentioned that I wasn’t living in Chapin, but was just stopping by.
What I got was an invitation to Six Flags. John, a freshman, went so far as to ask if I needed to borrow a Wildcat Card to take the shuttle with them. I said no (I have a driving curfew), so they showed me Aziz Ansari’s standup comedy show until they had to leave.
I was surprised; I hadn’t experienced anything like that at New Trier. These students were so friendly, I felt embarrassed that I had walked in with my “New Trier face” on.
What was I doing?
My friend later confided in me that the group was normally even more welcoming, but they had been thrown off by my demeanor.
This is when I came to the realization that I didn’t come off as friendly as I thought I did. It wasn’t my approachability that was an issue, demonstrated by the two times I was asked for directions on my short walk to the hall, but rather the initial vibe I gave when put into the new situation.
It took me a moment to let down my guard, and to allow myself to be myself. Even then, I struggled to define formality and politeness, without coming off too cold.
Once I had left, I wondered why I had acted so—in my mind—poorly.
Then it hit me. Trevians aren’t meaner than anyone else; we just have a different style.
We’re more like New Yorkers than the fuzzy Wildcats I had met.
You learn as a sophomore that in order not to get walked on in hallways by the untouchable upperclassmen, you need to exude a level of confidence and certainty in the direction you’re traveling.
Many develop this trait by putting on a serious face, keeping eyes locked dead ahead, and by asserting his/her space in the hall through variations on walking and speed.
Not everyone does this, but I believe quite a few do. Walk down a New Trier hallway and you’ll see what I mean.
Take notice not of how many people are laughing with friends, but how many individuals walk by with a smile.
Everyone is comfortable with their friends; it is a rare few that openly smile upon a stranger. That’s just the way we are.
Warmth is not an adjective one would use to describe New Trier during passing periods, though it is apparent when observing close-knit groups within the school.
New Trier is a welcoming place, and walking through its halls during a 5 minute passing period is not how our school should be judged.
In this sense, my glimpse to Northwestern’s dorm was skewed. These students were having their orientation week; they had already gotten through the college process, and were simply excited to finally be there.
We Trevians are in a pressure-packed environment.
Trying to get the best grades we can to go to the best school we can get into; writing god knows how many essays; working with college counselors, teachers, and our advisors to complete our applications; and attempting to maintain our grades and extracurricular activities on top of it all: New Trier students are busy.
There’s stresses at every school, and I bet that the NU students will be more busy when November quarter finals come round—and maybe a little less bubbly to newcomers.
Even so, an effort to create a more welcoming school is never wasted.
Walk down the halls knowing that your classmates are also stressed out, and that a smile in their direction can’t hurt. Reassure yourself that even the smallest show of kindness goes a long way.
Our school is defined by rigorous academics, stellar extracurricular programs and nationally competitive sports. Let our positive attitude also define us.
It’s as easy as smiling.