New year, fake me

Unattainable goals and troubling “new year’s resolutions” are a benefit for procrastinators



New Year’s resolutions are a myth and phony. Now that January has passed, set goals and resolutions–not “New Year’s” resolutions” you know that aren’t real.

You would think that gyms on January 1st would convince people to get memberships for their sales. That isn’t the case for Equinox, because they have a policy where they don’t let people join on January 1st. They have a campaign called “We don’t speak January.”

 This promotion prevents people from joining on January 1st, as well as canceling their memberships halfway through January from a failed New Year’s resolution. For Equinox, it gives them more members who are long-term. Members joining gyms on January 1st are often short term members because they fail on their New Year’s resolutions. 

This is because New Year’s resolutions are a myth and phony. 

The week before and after New Year’s is spent dreading resolutions or goals for the New Year. But oftentimes they are abandoned through the month of January, let alone the entire year. Say you were able to join a gym on New Year’s day, and then your resolution was to go four days a week. What you might not have considered is the amount of homework you would have in the second semester of junior year, or the fact that you might not have access to a car. Whatever the reason, your New Year’s resolution goes from 4 days a week the first week of January, to one day on January 31st, leaving you in the first week of February, and perhaps for the rest of the year not going to the gym four days a week. 

This practice of setting unrealistic goals that you want to follow is an unhealthy start. Habits like setting realistic goals are more helpful, manageable and attainable, and can kickstart and help you reach your aspirations in a healthy way. 

Regardless of the resolution, these goals are usually made the week before and after the New Year. They are spur of the moment, and relate little to your life, or maybe they were created out of pressure or comparison of your own friends. Just because your friend is going to eat healthier doesn’t mean you need to as well. Especially as teenagers, we often try to fit in and do things that will make us part of a group, such as a certain type of shoes, down to weird 2023 slang words we use (if anyone says “slay” again, I might throw up). Whatever it is, your goals are created on a whim, and that is why they are unattainable – they are simply made up. 

Speaking of goals on a whim, if you have a resolution or goal you should start it TODAY. The nonsense of saying it is for the new year is a simple trick for procrastinator types. A realm of procrastination fills people’s minds when creating their own New Year’s resolutions. 

In October a friend of mine realized they should work on their mental health, and decided that this will be their New Year’s resolution. When the New Year rolls around, they have procrastinated on this goal. Instead of waiting, they should have started to work on themselves back in October. If you have a goal, start today, not tomorrow, not in three months. 

I am a big proponent of goal setting. I think if you have goals it can motivate you to do better and get you to accomplish something of your choosing. But why can’t we just set normal goals? Putting “New Years” in front of it seems straight out of a Hallmark Channel movie. Fake. If you have a goal, by all means go ahead and reach it. 

Oftentimes goals are made out of insecurity, which is when you have to think about realistic goals and things that you can actually accomplish. You might be wanting to save more money, all because one of your friends made fun of how much money you were spending. Out of insecurity, you might not spend as much money in front of that friend, you will spend it in private. Instead of not spending as much money you are doing it in secret which might be worse. I am not here to say that you shouldn’t lose 5 pounds if you want to, but these goals should be done for the sole reason that YOU want to. 

Easier said than done, but don’t let your friends influence your goal making in 2023. Now that it is after the new year, set goals and resolutions–not “New Year’s” resolutions” you know that aren’t real.