I love Valentine’s day. I love the hearts, I love the silly cards, I love the love. In the soul freezing-cold of mid-February winter, or as I like to call it, “Hell,” it’s wonderful to have a nationwide holiday that’s about all the love and happiness in the world. It warms my heart, which is weird because of how single I am.

Some have said that I’ve taken loneliness to an art form, that it would be a crime against humanity for me not to be single. One person locked me in their basement for that very reason. I assume it’s why nobody will date me. Everyone is just sacrificing the happiness that they know they’d have with me for the sake of art. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Oh my god, I’m so lonely.

I won’t ignore the problems that people have with Valentine’s Day. Some think that it’s too commercial, that it’s a holiday that was made to sell things. And, well, that’s kind of true. But at the same time, it doesn’t really matter. Just because you’re being offered useless junk on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean that you have to buy it. Don’t buy anything if you don’t want to; it’s easy to show love in a bunch of other ways. And if your significant other is the kind of person who demands that you buy things for them, and you don’t want to, then dump them and come date me.

Oh my god, I’m so lonely.

Some would say that Valentine’s Day puts too much pressure on people to date, that it reinforces the idea that you’re only worth something if you’re in a romantic relationship. But I ask you, why does Valentine’s Day have to be about love between two people? To me, Valentine’s Day, is about love in all of its forms. I use it as a day to love myself, to remind myself that I’m an important, special person who is lovable. I think people should use it that way even if they’re already in a relationship, because honestly, what’s more important than loving me ?

Oh my god, I’m so lonely.

I once heard a random person who definitely wasn’t me in the eighth grade complain that Valentine’s Day was dumb, and that we should just celebrate love all the time. Well, Not-Eighth-Grade-Me, you just don’t understand how the world works. Ideally we’d be able to do that, but the fact is that the world is too tough for that. People get worn down and tired, and sometimes it’s hard to celebrate love. So it’s nice to have a whole day to serve as a reminder that love is real and amazing, and that we should celebrate those who make us feel love and loved, even if it’s just our pets.

Oh my god, I’m so lonely.

So there you have it. That’s why I think Valentine’s Day  is the second best holiday in February. The best holiday is the day after Valentine’s Day, when all the candy goes on sale. It’s a holiday that my father has lovingly dubbed “Jewish Valentine’s Day.” I love it more than love itself. Unfortunately, it’s followed by the worst day in February, when I experience intense self-loathing because I somehow already ate all of that chocolate and oh my god, I’m so, so very lonely.